6 simple ways to encourage your child to listen to themselves

“All children are naturally intuitive,” says Litany Burns, author of The Sixth Sense of Children: Nurturing Your Child’s Intuitive Abilities. “From the moment they first enter the physical world as infants, they spontaneously rely on their sixth sense for communication and protection. It is what they innately know. Like animals, they rely on these primary unspoken impressions for their physical daily survival before language, mental and social skills have developed.”

heartandlightOur sixth sense is natural and part of who we are

Maybe we think about somebody and they call us?  Maybe we meet somebody and we can’t quite put our finger on it, but they feel a bit off.  We all start out as babies with an intuitive sense. What we do with it – and how we choose to use it or not use it – is where we differ.  As we grow older, we develop limiting beliefs based on our experiences or the feedback we get from the world around us.

“Children, even twins, do not possess a more advanced sixth sense than adults,” says Burns. “They simply are more open, more in touch with using their natural intuitive talents in their physical lives. Now, more than ever, children need to remain in touch with their inner voice, their internal strength, creative ideas, self-love and intuition in order to have more wholly satisfied lives.”

How to encourage your child to tune in

You will often find me writing about how children are great mimics (it’s not what you say, it’s what you do) and so leading by example and trusting yourself is the best thing you can do to help your child.  If you can trust yourself and know your own worth, then listening to what you want becomes very natural.  Here are some practical tips that you might like to to try:-

1.  Remain in touch with your inner voice

 This is the one that talks to you, not your inner critic – the endless monkey chatter that says ‘You are not good enough!’ or ‘What are you doing?’ Everybody is going to find out that you are a fraudster sooner or later.’  Yes that horrible voice that haunts you when you are having a wobble.  It’s job is to ‘protect’ you from taking risks and making changes.  The voice I’m talking about is your voice, the one that says ‘I can do this!’ ‘I’m OK, I know I’m OK.’  It’s gentle and it talks to you like you would talk to a friend or loved one.

Practical Tip:  Learn to distinguish between your inner critic and your own loving gentle voice.  Ensure your child’s inner voice is full of positivity too.  Watch the way you reflect back to them how they are.  It’s true that if you are harsh on yourself, you will be harsh on others too.  Tell them what you love about them on a daily basis and acknowledge positive behaviours.

2.  Connect with your heart

We often make decisions with our logical mind so they are based on our limited experience of the world.  Next time you need to make a decision, put your hand over your heart and take a deep breath.   Your heart has a great knowing as the same neurological tissue found in the brain is found there, almost like a second “brain” – our emotional centre if you like.

Practical Tip:  Listening to your head and your heart is crucial to good decision-making about your life.  You can do this out loud so your children are witnesses to some of the decisions you make and you can use this when they are making decisions.  Ask them, ‘What would your heart say?’  Take a deep breath in, close your eyes and see what the answer is.

You can also role play out tricky situations – I use this in coaching.  Try to inject a little humour or whatever hits the spot in terms of preparing them for what lies ahead.  You will instinctively know what your child needs.

3.  Connect with your body

I recently had stomach problems which my Doctor explained that this was where I was holding all my stress and anxiety.  I was literally ‘stomaching’ things.  My body was telling me that it was very unhappy with what I tolerating.  In her book, ‘You Can Heal Your Life , Louise Hay shows how strong our mind and body connection is.  She believes that we create illnesses in our body by the thoughts we think.  So believe it or not, my stomach problems were because something was literally ‘eating me’ and I was holding onto something in the past or not letting go of something.  How very accurate!

Dr. Christine Northrup, a visionary pioneer and the world’s leading authority in the field of women’s health and wellness, says ‘Your gut health and your emotions are so closely linked, it is fair to say that the gut acts as a sort of primitive brain.  Butterflies or nausea are often your inner wisdom speaking to you.  You may want to consider keeping a journal of your symptoms to help you clarify factors associated with your symptoms.’  And that is exactly what I did.  I also used meditation and made more sensible food choices.

Practical Tip:  Mindfulness breathing and relaxation is something I cover in my Super Kids workshops as going quiet within is like giving yourself a hug.  It releases the same chemicals into your brain that a big squidgy hug would.  It’s just as soothing as a hug to sit there quietly and breathe deeply from your stomach for 10 minutes a day.

crayonsandcraftstuff4.  Encourage creativity

Allow your children to just be. Let them play, make things, discover and grow.  Nourish their souls with creativity.  Creativity does actually belong to children.  Take a look at all the beautiful artwork we created at Super Kids where we learn how to think positively and how to walk and talk like a confident person.  Creativity allows children to be playful, authentic and come  from a place that is not limited or conditioned.

Practical Tip:  Make time to be creative for yourself and with your children.  It doesn’t have to be loads of crafts and messiness if you don’t have time.  It can simply be a game or cooking tea together or making a daisy chain.  Great things happen when you get creative.  Your subconscious takes over and shows you exactly what you are made of.

5.  Look after yourself

I’ve written a whole blog post on this before and cannot stress how important it is to learn to love yourself.  Understand that self-love is not selfish and that if you are not taken care of, you will be no good to anybody else, least of all your children.

Teaching our children to be kind and put others first is something most parents teach their children growing up.  However, it’s also important to teach your child that they are not responsible for other people’s happiness.  Phrases such as ‘That makes me happy’ or ‘If you don’t that so and so will be sad’ sends out a message that it is their job to make other people happy.

Practical Tip:  Teach them that it’s OK to say ‘no’ to anybody including adults if you don’t want to do something.  This is not the same as when you are asking them to tidy their room or clean their teeth!!!!  They need to honour and respect no from other people as well being able to say it!

6.  Validate validate validate

Encourage your child to trust their own judgement.  When they come to you and tell you about somebody they don’t like or something that makes them feel bad, no matter how trivial or how much you disagree, validate it for them.  They cannot do this for themselves and they rely heavily on you to reflect back to them what the world looks like.  If you don’t entirely agree, you could say something like ‘I can see that is how you feel.’ or ‘Mmmm so that doesn’t feel very nice for you.’ or ‘Well sometimes we have to do what is right for us.’

Practical Tip: Use the news or programmes you watch on the TV to initiate conversations with your child about what makes a person trustworthy, how you feel around certain people.  Also do a friend check.  Write a list of what makes a good friend and see who comes up to the mark.  It may seem a rather crude way to do it but it opens their eyes to the types of people they want to be around – the ones that make them feel good!

For other ways of how to develop healthy habits for happy confident children, sign up to my newsletter (the box on the right hand side at the top of this page – underneath the Daily Mail logo) or come and join my Facebook page.

 

Image credits © with thanks to Jessica Jager and http://www.sxc.hu

 

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